But why together this long????

On our last week's trip after got bored with our teasing how the FM girl was singing we all sat silent for some time and then my son asked me-
‘how long you guys have been together?'. Some kids have habit of asking the same things again and again. He asked this several times before too .I told him for almost 20 years. He asked-
‘whatttttttttt u guys! Means you guys were together for 20 years’. He sounded more like we had been together for 80 years. I said yes. He asked again-
‘But why?? How come? You guys never wanted to divorce?’. I answered him and said-‘First of all, when we got together the idea of divorce was not there in our mind. I guess people don’t get marry thinking about a possible divorce in the near future’.
He said –‘okay, but still why?’

I was thinking the same thing. I looked at the guy driving and smiling. I felt so happy. Unlike many normal couples we don’t share the so called romance between us. It’s always been a different type, a different kind of love that we share. Life has never been boring with him; even now I just love him to be here at home 24/7 in the literary meaning. I don’t want to talk to him all the time but just knowing that he is at a shout away makes me feel safe. As we always say we became necessary evils for each other. It is nothing like holding hands and walking through the beach. Those things interested me only in my teens, never after that. If we go to beach now all I want to ask is when are we going back home. My idea of romance is staying home reading a book and seeing him watching TV or reading a book or seeing him walking around his plants making sure they are all looking fine. The romantic ‘moments’ we share are mostly funny. Like the other day when we were going out he came and put a big hibiscus flower on one side of my ear and then on the other he put another equally big flower called chempakam. The time he took and the careful way he made sure that they stay there was something to watch. A few days back he plucked the first white rose that we had in our rose plant and put that on my hair. These are some of our silly romantic moments that we enjoy.

More than anything, being with him let me be myself. I didn’t have to pretend in anything. With all my faults and all my craziness I feel so comfortable with him .never ever he got angry when I did the gravest mistakes in my life. When normally people might be tempted to just destroy the things around, he always kept his cool. Sometimes I think that behavior is what made me closer to him. Never saw him getting panic under any circumstances. So when he told me once he also does feel scary about things at times, I told him I don’t believe him. For me he is someone who is fearless and the encyclopedia for me. His friend asked me once why I married this rough tough guy. But I have never seen that side of him. For me he was always soft, always understanding, always supports me even when he knew I am on the wrong side, or at fault. Always supported and stood by me, never ever in my life I felt let down by him.

Only in front of him I have no problem in crying as loud as I can. It makes me laugh sometimes when I think about how stupid I might have looked at those times. For me the person I feel so comfortable with, that I can be in my most vulnerable state is him, and sometimes my mother:). With anybody else I can put a brave face.
When I thought I lost my chain sometimes back, that too the one with my thali on it, I just broke down and cried. Thinking about the money as well as what it meant for me. He said okay and let me hold on to him for a long time, while I was crying and crying. Then when I dared look at him for a second what I saw was a face trying to hide a laugh. He said I can go and buy a new one, but then suddenly added not now after a loooooong time! It made me laugh of course knowing how much he hate any kind of gold jewelry. It felt like he was almost feeling good that I lost it!!


Now, I am not talking about two angels here. We have our share of fights too, but 99.99% of the time it is about the room he cleaned and how I managed to make it dirty again, or him finding the comb with my hair on top of the TV, or the wet bath towel on dining table etc etc. Those times we fight like two enemies, I am ready to wring his neck and he is ready to break me in to two pieces. In the end the poor remote suffers the most. Last week we had one of these episodes and I saw my pocket radio flying. I looked around and saw the iron candle stand nearby. I put the candle safely away and throw only the stand away and felt well after wards.

I asked my son if he we wants us to get a divorce.He said ‘no’. I asked him if at all it happens whom does he wants to live with. The kid said -
'Neither of you;) I want to live with both my grandmothers! I asked why, he said –

‘Well living with you alone would mean I have to listen to your shoutings 24/7. Living alone with my father would mean I have to do something all the time. So if you both are there I have a balance! Otherwise I would ask both grandmothers to come and live with me at my home!!'
I asked how can he say that’s his home! He said -'The house has my name on it anyways, so it is mine!!!

Hmm all very well planned I guess now all we need to think about is getting a divorce...